Raising multilingual children is a rewarding yet complex task that requires thoughtful strategies and a supportive environment.

Every family needs to find what works best in the many (!) different stages of the children’s (and parent’s!) language development and learning.

We often worry when others make remarks or seem to know better what is good for us or our children. Especially when these are authorities or professionals, we can start doubting if what we do is “right” or if we are maybe “doing something wrong”.
Please always put your family, your children first: observe what works for you, what you can and want to handle, and then consider adjusting or changing something.

Based on my now lifelong experience of being multilingual and more than 20 years of raising multilinguals and supporting multilingual families,  I share ten habits you should quit to foster a successful multilingual upbringing:

1 Expecting Immediate Results:

Language development takes time. Avoid putting pressure on your children to “speak perfectly” or “switch languages instantly” (Paradis, Genesee, & Crago, 2011). 

2 Being Inconsistent:

Consistency is crucial. Especially in the early years! Switching strategies or languages frequently and abruptly (i.e. without a need for it or without your children understanding the reason for it) can confuse children. Stick to your chosen approach, whether it’s One Person One Language (OPOL) or Minority Language at Home (MLAH) (Barron-Hauwaert, 2004), or, later, Time and Place (T&P) or a combination of them.

I invite you to watch my video about code-switching and code-mixing and Family Language Strategies, as well as different kinds of multilingual families.

3 Correcting Every Mistake:

Constant correction can discourage children. Focus on communication rather than perfection. Natural exposure and use will gradually refine their skills (Lightbown & Spada, 2013; Lanza, 1997 & 2004; Meisel, 2019; Nakamura, 2020).

I share some effective discourse strategies for multilingual families in this video.

4 Overloading with Languages:

Introducing too many languages at once can overwhelm our youngest children. Especially if they are transmitted by the same person and there is no apparent need for the children to learn them. Prioritize and gradually introduce additional languages based on their capacity and context (De Houwer, 2009, 2019, 2021).

I invite you to watch my videos about what language to speak first with your child, why it is never to late to add your language later, and whether “earlier is better”…

5 Ignoring the Community Language:

Balancing heritage and community languages is essential. Ensure your children are proficient in the dominant language of your environment to facilitate social integration and academic success (Cummins, 2000). It is very motivating for our children to see us parents also improve our language skills in the community language. 

In this video I share some tips about how to embrace the community language also at home.

6 Relying Solely on Formal Education:

Language learning is enhanced through everyday interactions, play, and cultural experiences. Creating a rich linguistic environment beyond the classroom (Grosjean, 2010) is essential for families who don’t use the community or school language at home. This means: provide opportunities where your children can use and improve their language skills with other children of different age groups, adults, about a wide range of topics. Motivation is key, and our children are even more motivated to improve their language skills in the school language when they experience us using it as well. When we share our learning experience, and what it means to improve language skills (or any skill for that matter!), our children will find it very natural to do the same.

7 Limiting Language Use to Specific Contexts:

Encourage the use of all languages in various settings. This flexibility enhances proficiency and confidence (Bialystok, 2011). We all learn languages from different people, for different purposes and to different extent. If we want our children to improve their language skills in a specific target language, we need to create opportunities to do so.
Same goes for using all their languages if they want to! I call this the paradox of raising multilingual children. 
In this video I talk about this paradox (mainly referring to our youngest children).

Once our children are older we can easily switch between all the languages we share. I do so with my now adult children, and, of course, my multilingual friends.

8 Comparing Your Children to Others:

Every child’s language journey is unique. Comparisons can create undue stress and demotivate them (Döpke, 1992). Whenever you feel that other children are “better” in using the target language, try to take a step back and focus on your children and their individual development.
Is there any sign of stagnation that can’t be explained or justified by a major change (move, change of daycare or school, transition period, change in the family etc.)?
Take notes of your child’s developmental stages (no need to do this daily, once per week or occasionally is ok and will help also explain your child’s development during  medical visits) and have a look at the big(ger) picture. 

Should you still worry, you are always welcome to schedule a consultation with me, ask a question in my private facebook group Multilingual Families, or take one of my self paced online courses where you can find out what you can do. 

9 Underestimating the Power of Play:

Play is a natural and effective way to learn languages. Engage in games, storytelling, and songs to make learning enjoyable (Toth, 2010). This not only applies to the early years!

Please have a look at my Toolbox for Multilingual Families and the youtube channel Activities for Multilingual Families  where we share activities and games that foster understanding, speaking, reading and writing in 0 to 15+ children.

10 Neglecting Your Language:

Maintain your proficiency in your heritage language and improve your knowledge by staying up to date with how your language evolves and changes. Children need strong role models and consistent input from fluent speakers (Yamamoto, 2001).

You are always welcome to join my monthly free online meetings where we also share how we, parents, can keep our languages “alive and thriving” whilst living abroad!

Avoiding these habits can create a supportive environment for your children, fostering effective multilingualism and intercultural competence.

References:

• Barron-Hauwaert, S. (2004). Language Strategies for Bilingual Families: The One-Parent-One-Language Approach. Multilingual Matters.
• Bialystok, E. (2011). Bilingualism in Development: Language, Literacy, and Cognition. Cambridge University Press.
• Cummins, J. (2000). Language, Power, and Pedagogy: Bilingual Children in the Crossfire. Multilingual Matters.
• De Houwer, A. (2009). Bilingual First Language Acquisition. Multilingual Matters.
• De Houwer, A. (2019). Input, context and early child bilingualism: implications for clinical practice. 
• De Houwer, A. (2021). Bilingual development in childhood. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.
• Döpke, S. (1992). One Parent, One Language: An Interactional Approach. John Benjamins Publishing.
• Grosjean, F. (2010). Bilingual: Life and Reality. Harvard University Press.
• Lanza, Elizabeth, Language Mixing in Infant Bilingualism. A Sociolinguistic Perspective. Oxford, OUP, 1997.
• Lanza, Elizabeth, Language Mixing in Infant Bilingualism: A Sociolinguistic Perspective, Oxford, OUP, 2004.
• Lightbown, P. M., & Spada, N. (2013). How Languages are Learned. Oxford University Press.
• Meisel, Jürgen, Bilingual Children. A Guide for Parents, CUP, 2019.
• Nakamura, J. (2020). Multilingualism in Children: Strategies for Effective Communication. Journal of Multilingual and Multicultural Development, 41(3), 256-272.
• Paradis, J., Genesee, F., & Crago, M. B. (2011). Dual Language Development & Disorders: A Handbook on Bilingualism and Second Language Learning. Brookes Publishing.
• Toth, P. D. (2010). The Impact of Extended Instruction and Interactive Discourse on the Second Language Acquisition of Grammatical Structures. Language Teaching Research.
• Yamamoto, M. (2001). Language Use in Interlingual Families: A Japanese-English Sociolinguistic Study. Multilingual Matters.