Living between languages and cultures, I often notice how identity is far more fluid than we once believed. Our bilingual or multilingual children remind us of this every day: they switch languages depending on who they’re speaking to, adopt different ways of expressing themselves, thinking, and even behaving. It’s as if they are constantly transforming, yet they never lose their inner core.
In my generation, growing up in Greece, and I believe in many other places too, it was common for children to grow up surrounded by labels. I like to think this is gradually changing. Back then, a behavior would rarely be described as “bad”; instead, the child would be called bad. Achievements weren’t “smart”; the child was.
Today, we know that these words don’t merely describe our children; they can also define them. Instead of seeing themselves as developing and evolving beings, they may end up feeling trapped in roles and identities assigned too early, both the negative and the seemingly positive ones. For instance, if a child grows up identifying as “beautiful” or “smart,” and one of these labels becomes part of their sense of worth, they might spend their whole life trying to hold on to it, constantly trying to prove their value by being “smart” or “beautiful.”
As our children grow up in environments full of diverse influences, it becomes even more important to give them the freedom to “be many things.” They can be both shy and outgoing, sensitive and strong, multilingual yet selectively expressive. Our role as parents is to accompany them on this journey and not to squeeze them into boxes.
I recall that while studying for my degree in French Literature, we learned about the work and life of Victor Hugo, and how he underwent a profound transformation throughout his life: from a conservative to a humanist, from a realist to almost a mystic. At the time, I couldn’t understand how someone could transform so deeply and still remain true to himself. Now, as an adult and a mother, I understand this much better, especially as I see how much I have changed throughout the years. We all have a stable core, but everything around it is in constant motion. The same goes for our children: they change, they explore, they transform, and that’s a sign of health.
As parents, it’s our responsibility to show our children how to live with authenticity and respect, not only toward the environments and countries in which they grow up, but also, and even more importantly, toward themselves. To allow them, or better yet, to walk beside them, through all the transformative experiences they will encounter, without fear, without guilt, without labels.
If we can observe our children’s flow with acceptance, perhaps they will grow up knowing and truly recognizing that their sense of self is something fluid, living, and open. And in doing so, they may move through life staying as close to their truth as possible.
Elisavet Arkolaki
Elisavet Arkolaki is the author of a successful bilingual book series for children, with books available in 50+ languages: “A Sea of Stars” “Where am I from?”, “Cousins Forever”, “Happiness Street”, “Nelly’s Box”, and “Summer with Grandpa”. Passionate about travel and inspired by global learning, she raises her children between countries, cultures, and languages. She writes to build cultural understanding and sensitivity in young children while they are still eager to learn. She graduated from the University of Liverpool with a degree in Global Marketing (MSc), the University of Athens with a degree in French Language and Literature (BA), and was awarded a certificate of proficiency in English from the University of Cambridge.
